She thought hers was the normal response: She was raised by strict Catholics, she would tell Daniel, as if that explained it, and she never saw her own parents hold hands, much less kiss. Daniel liked sex, and not long after they were married, it became clear that Elizabeth’s interest in it had cooled. They had, by all appearances, a happy marriage.īut as with any happy marriage, there were frustrations.
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He was relieved to find, as the years passed, that he still loved his wife - they kissed hello each time they reunited, they made each other laugh and he was someone inclined to appreciate what he had. But Daniel is a softhearted bear of a man, affectionate and affection-seeking, someone who entered marriage expecting, if not everlasting passion, at least an enduring physical connection. He and Elizabeth might not tell the story of that ring, with all its obvious metaphorical meaning, as readily as they do if Daniel were, in fact, ambivalent about marriage, so resentful of its boundaries that he found its most potent symbol too toxic to bear. A month into the marriage, he took it off and never got around to replacing it. He started to think of the ring as if it were radioactive, an object burning holes in his flesh. As if in revolt, his finger grew red and raw, beneath the circle of metal. He was happy with the ring, and what it represented, until it became obvious after the wedding that he was allergic to the nickel that was mixed in with the gold in the band. Daniel, then a 27-year-old who worked in information technology, decided to design one himself, requesting that tiny stones be placed in a gold band, like planets orbiting in a solar system. So, here are some possible underlying causes of infidelity.When Daniel and Elizabeth married in 1993, they found it was easy enough to choose a ring for her, but there were far fewer choices for him. Either way, understanding why you’ve cheated is a good start. The next step will mostly likely be to either end your relationship or work on repairing it. That’ll depend on the situation, but generally, experts say you should keep it to yourself if you don’t plan to repeat it and don’t believe they’ll find out.
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Once you’ve cheated, the first step to move forward is to figure out whether or not to tell your partner. “Though sex may play a role, the majority of affairs often start out as emotional affairs due to an addiction to attention and a proneness to boredom in any long term relationship they are in.” “People often think the main reason people cheat are related to sexual needs,” relationship coach Laney Zukerman tells Bustle. There could be a thousand reasons behind this, and only you can really know why, but one thing we can probably say is that it’s not purely physical. Often, they reflect deeply rooted emotions and beliefs about ourselves, our partners, and our relationships.Ī YouGov poll found that around one in five Americans have cheated at some point, so if you’ve cheated, you’re far from alone. Cheaters' motives aren't always obvious even to themselves.
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If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering "Why do I cheat?", you're not the only one.